Fiction L
A Fake Internet Presence,
since 1994

Internet Humor TidBits

I'm always on the look out for new jokes and articles.
Feel free to mail them to me at blong@fiction.net
How other people got here

Topics

• Science Fiction
• Sex Humor
• Christmas Fun
• School, History, Knowledge
• Computer Fun
• Philosophy, Religion, Politics
• Top Something Lists
• Things that don't fit elsewhere
• Other Witticisms On-Line

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Science Fiction

• Starwars Action Figures - 11/07/97
• Star Wars vs. Star Trek - 03/19/97
• Eerie Coincidences between Love Boat and Star Trek - 11/11/95
• Aliens do Exist - 10/10/95
• Star Trek Original vs. Next Generation - 02/09/95
• The Night Before Christmas on the Enterprise-D @
• Microsoft takes on the Borg @
• Top 10 Sex Lines from the Star Wars Trilogies @

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Sex Humor

• Sperm Count - 02/23/98
• Done Anything Wild? - 02/23/98
• Things Guys Learn from Action Movies - 11/10/97
• Pre-Relationship Agreement - 04/09/97
• The Dishes - 11/11/95
• Are you a Guy? Take this Quiz - 10/10/95
• The 9 Types of Boyfriends & Girlfriends - 08/23/95
• Gothic Pick-Up Lines - 05/24/95
• Chemical Analysis of Men - 05/05/96
• Chemical Analysis of Women - 03/04/95
• How to Kill an Eel
• Dr. Suess Purity Test
• 50 Facts about Men
• How the Internet is like a Penis
• How the Internet is like a Vagina - - 01/0 8/95
• Seminars for Men
• Seminars for Women
• The Oracle Ponders Women - 02/12/96
• 100 Reasons It's Great to be a Guy @ - 02/23/98
• Top 10 Things that Sound Dirty at Thanksgiving @ - 03/20/97
• The Top 10 Reasons Trick-or-Treating is Better than Sex @ - 05/05/96
• 125 Things not to say during Sex @ - 05/05/96
• Top 20 Reasons why Chocolate is Better than Sex @ - 05/24/95
• Top 10 Sex Lines from the Star Wars Trilogies @

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Christmas Fun

• A PC Christmas - 02/23/98
• The 12 Bugs of Christmas - 03/28/97
• Does Santa Exist? - 03/28/97
• Santa Exists - 03/28/97
• Christmas Tree Angel - 03/28/97
• Government The Night Before Christmas - 03/28/97
• Redneck The Night Before Christmas - 03/28/97
• Reegineering Christmas - 03/20/97
• The Night Before Christmas on the Enterprise-D
• The Night Before Finals

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School, History, Knowledge

• Real Answers to Drivers Ed Test - 03/20/97
• Useless Information - 03/20/97
• Don't Mess with Prof. Bonk - 05/05/96
• A Solution to Student Spelling - 02/12/96
• High School vs. College - 03/31/95
• Kids say the Darndest Things - 02/25/95
• Student History of Errors - 01/13/95
• The Night Before Finals @
• Some Examples of Good English
• A Los Angeles Math Exam
• The Ultimate Final Exam
• Cartoon Laws of Physics
• Murphy's Laws of Combat Computer Fun - 02/09/95

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Computer Fun

• The 12 Bugs of Christmas @ - 03/28/97
• Computer Chickens - 02/23/98
• Three Monkeys - 02/23/98
• Things Computers Can Do In Movies - 02/23/98
• The Programmer and The Engineer - 02/23/98
• The History of the Net - 02/23/98
• A Question for Programmers - 04/09/97
• The Apocalypse Email Virus - 04/09/97
• You know you are living in the Bay Area when ... - 03/27/97
• Abort, Retry, Ignore, Nevermore - 03/20/97
• TechWeenie Glossary - 03/20/97
• Computer Virus Guide - 03/19/97
• Drug Dealers and Software Engineers - a Comparison - 03/19/97
• You Know You're an Internet Addict When... - 03/19/97
• The Unix Wizard ... - 03/28/97
• The History of OS's: The Dosfish - 02/12/96
• Unix Hierarchy of Being - 10/06/95
• The True Story About Unix - 05/05/96
• If Operating Systems were Beers... - 10/06/95
• If Operating Systems were Airlines... - 08/23/95
• If Dr.Seuss Were a Computer Analyst... - 05/05/96
• One Question Geek Test - 05/03/96
• People for Ethical Treatment of Software - 02/12/96
• The Oracle Ponders Women @ - 02/12/96
• GIF Jokes - 01/31/96
• If Toasters were made by... - 05/05/96
• How Computer Scientists Would Design a Toaster - 01/31/96
• Kewl Coding Styles - 10/14/95
• More Computer Humour - 10/10/95
• The sysadmin manpage - 10/10/95
• The Story of Mel, a REAL Hacker - 08/23/95
• Hacking through the Jargon Jungle - 05/24/95
• The Unofficial Smilie Dictionary - 05/24/95
• You Know You've Been on the Computer Too Long... - 10/06/95
• A Tech Support Horror Story - 01/24/95
• The Programmers Guide to shooting oneself in the foot
• How to make UN*X PC (politically correct) Compatible
• The tin vs. pine debate
• Pepsi and the Internet
• Definition of Windows 95 - 02/23/98
• Microsoft to Acquire US Government - 11/07/97
• Microsoft Sues Tomagotchi - 11/07/97
• Microsoft Acquires Higher Source - 04/09/97
• Microsoft Boot Camp - 03/20/97
• Microsoft Windows 95 Stuns World - 10/06/95
• The Last Holdout for Windows 95 - 10/06/95
• Microsoft buys 1995 - 05/24/95
• Microsoft takes on the Borg
• Bill Gates goes to Hell - 05/05/96
• Bill Gates for President - 05/24/95
• Windoze.c - 03/04/95
• Recipe for Windows 95(tm) - 08/23/95
• Another Scandal at the Top - 02/23/98
• Geekonics - 03/19/97
• Top 15 Signs your Webmaster is in a Cult @ - 04/09/97
• The 10 DOS Commandments @ - 03/19/97
• Computers and God - 05/03/96
• How God Created the Earth by Computer - 02/25/95
• Bill Gates goes to Heaven
• Important Message about the End of the World
• Microsoft buys the Roman Catholic Church
• Top 12 Things you Don't want to Hear from Tech Support @ - 04/09/97
• Top 10 Reasons Computers are Male @ - 03/20/97
• 106 Ways to Be Annoying on UseNet @ - 05/05/96
• Top 20 Engineers' Terminologies @ - 05/05/96
• Top 10 Anagrams for "Netscape Communications." @ - 10/06/95
• Top 10 HTML Extensions that didn't make it into NetScape 1.0N @ - 03/31/95
• 30 Signs that Technology has Taken Over your Life @ - 03/31/95
• Top 10 Ways Things Would Be Different if Microsoft Built Cars @ - 02/12/96

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Philosophy, Religion, Politics

• The Temperature of Heaven - 02/23/98
• Predictions from the Past - 03/31/95
• Great Minds Speak - 02/25/95
• I Believe Clinton - 02/23/98
• God is a Republican - 02/23/98
• Where Drivers are From - 02/23/98
• Ineffective Daily Affirmations - 02/23/98
• You might be a child of the 80s if... - 04/09/97
• Children of the Eighties - 04/09/97
• 3 Wishes - 04/09/97
• Yankonics - 04/09/97
• Geekonics @ - 03/19/97
• If I ever become an Evil Overlord - 03/28/97
• The Bill of No Rights - 03/28/97
• Supermodel Deep Thoughts - 03/20/97
• Psychiatric Hotline - 03/20/97
• God & The Lotto - 03/19/97
• Questions of Life - 03/19/97
• The Rejection Rejection Letter - 05/05/96
• How Shit Happens - 05/05/96
• Computers and God @ - 05/03/96
• The Language of the Job Hunt - 02/12/96
• ... to boldly shit where no one has shit before! - 11/11/95
• The Warning Signs Of Insanity - 08/23/95
• Administratium - 03/04/95
• How God Created the Earth by Computer @ - 02/25/95
• The Story of Creation - 02/09/95
• Why did the Chicken cross the road?
• Bill Gates goes to Heaven @
• Important Message about the End of the World @
• The PC Manifesto
• The Nervous Priest
• Microsoft buys the Roman Catholic Church @

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Top Something Lists

• Top 15 Signs your Webmaster is in a Cult - 04/09/97
• The 10 DOS Commandments - 03/19/97
• 100 Reasons It's Great to be a Guy - 02/23/98
• Top 12 Things you Don't want to Hear from Tech Support - 04/09/97
• Top 10 Things that Sound Dirty at Thanksgiving - 03/20/97
• Top 10 Reasons Computers are Male - 03/20/97
• The Top 10 Reasons Trick-or-Treating is Better than Sex - 05/05/96
• 106 Ways to Be Annoying on UseNet - 05/05/96
• Top 20 Engineers' Terminologies - 05/05/96
• 125 Things not to say during Sex - 05/05/96
• Top 20 Reasons why Chocolate is Better than Sex - 05/24/95
• Top 10 Sex Lines from the Star Wars Trilogies
• Top 10 Anagrams for "Netscape Communications." - 10/06/95
• Top 10 HTML Extensions that didn't make it into NetScape 1.0N - 03/31/95
• 30 Signs that Technology has Taken Over your Life - 03/31/95
• Top 10 Ways Things Would Be Different if Microsoft Built Cars - 02/12/96

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Things that don't fit elsewhere

• Avoid Foul Language! - 11/11/95
• Real Beer - 02/23/98
• Superman, Drunk - 02/23/98
• What you can tell about a person by the Car they Drive - 03/20/97
• Things you DON'T want to hear while on the operating room table - 03/20/97
• New Disny Classics - 03/19/97
• An Annotated Thermometer - 06/12/96
• Suicide, Accident or Homicide? - 05/05/96
• The Worst Country-Western Song Titles - 11/11/95
• The Ford Bronco "OJ Package" - 10/10/95
• Experiments on Twinkies - 03/31/95
• Taco Hell - 05/03/96

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Other Witticisms On-Line

• Microsoft Code has No Bugs!

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All humor provided as is. If you are humor impaired, please seek help elsewhere. Thank you.

None of these were written by me, and many of them are unattributed, as that is the way I received them. If you wrote one of these, and would like to be attributed, just mail me.